Can help be reciprocal in social services work?

One of my favorite memories of working in a shelter was working in the evenings. Women living in the shelter who knew my schedule - and my habit of going without meals - regularly made an extra plate of dinner when they fixed their families dinner and brought me a plate. Crazy good food, conversation and got a lot of work done. I got criticism for taking food from clients. Seemed weird to me, since it was our food in the first place and their cooking efforts were volunteered.

As shelter providers, we were professionally prepared to give to others. In fact, we were so well prepared we needed lessons in taking care of ourselves to avoid burn-out. One thing we knew is that giving generally felt good. Oddly we struggled with letting others give to us in those same relationships. Us giving to clients, we had comfort with that. Clients giving to us; not so much.

The specific kind of well-being that comes from giving (as opposed to from getting) is particularly effective at improving the quality of life. Giving to others raises levels of the hormone Oxycontin, that hormone defeats depression and increases a sense of self-fulfillment. Those feelings of self value and fulfillment are part of having a good life. In his book The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, Jonathan Haidt (2006) wrote "caring for others is often more beneficial than receiving help. We need to interact and intertwine with others; we need the give and take; we need to belong." We also know that giving companionship and support is beneficial to both the giver and the receiver, while giving help to people in distress is rewarding, but stressful and costly to the giver (Strazdins and Broom, 2007).

That raised two questions for me I still work through. The first one is, can we create work environments for social workers and therapists that encourage and support both kinds of giving? Staff companionship with clients might have a protective effect against the staff burn-out associated with distress-based helping.

The second question is more important to me. Can we accept people who are clients to also be givers to both equalize the relationship and make sure that they also have the rich experience of giving?

What kind of workplace can a leader provide staff and clients in a social services organization that allows them to help each other - and not just create a vast one-way street of giving and taking? Take walks with clients during breaks, or sit on the porch talking about movies and tv shows. Ask for advice, share stories. Say yes to dinner. This might actually call for rethinking ways professional ethics and rules can be used to force us into superiority based relationships with clients. Companionship can be framed as too informal, too casual, too personal for a professional helping relationship. This attitude, borrowed from the business world, if taken too far, can deprive staff of healthy behaviors that are good for staff and clients alike.

What do you think?

References

Haidt, J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. New York: Basic Books. Retrieved from http://public.eblib.com/EBLPublic/PublicView.do?ptiID=679887

Strazdins, L., & Broom, D. H. (2007). The mental health costs and benefits of giving social support. International Journal of Stress Management, 14(4), 370–385.